Despite my better judgement and the promises I’ve made to myself, I’m leaning into my impulsive nature and am going in…

Covid.

I’m not claiming to be an expert or even to have an opinion really. Pardon my blunt frustration, but I’m crazy into facts and knowledge, compassion and CRITICAL THINKING, which seems to make me a minority on this particular subject. I don’t care much about being right. I’m more into being curious and open to new information as it comes. However, from what I’m seeing on SM and in the confusing conversations I’m having with some very passionate people is that y’all seem to be so blinded by your black or white stance, that few are able to even acknowledge the ambiguity and relativity that exists in the myriad of hues.

There are, in fact, a myriad of hues.

Science is full of theories and medicine is ‘practiced’. Rigidity is the death of progress. This fluidity is wisdom, acquired from years of fucking up (IE: flat Earth, hysteria, the toothe worm, leech therapy, Sun rotates around what?) and from the simple acceptance that the Universe and it’s Laws are more complex than we can currently grasp. But, we’re trying. Because we’re cute like that.

Ok, back to Covid.

Again, I want to preface with: A) I don’t want to argue. In fact, I don’t even really have an opinion to defend. B) I’m no expert. I don’t know shit. I’m not reading articles or research. I’m just talking to people. Barely. Some might call me ignorant, and in fact, I wouldn’t argue with them either. I’m just a girl with some observations and (maybe) an interesting POV. Take it or leave it.

Fact: For the last two and a half years, my daughter and I have lived in Bali, Indonesia. We were there when Covid hit the world. In 2020, on the 20th of March, our airports shut down and we entered lockdown. While restricted to our homes, we were told that hospitals were full and that people were dying everywhere. While this may have been true elsewhere in the world, it was not true in Bali. Eventually, this truth became known and our lockdown sort of fizzled out.

Fact: Dozens of direct flights from Wuhan entered Bali each day until mid-March. During this time, some people did test positive for Covid, but very few. It was very confusing. I have some opinions on why Covid never really took off in Bali, but they are what they are: Opinions, and not really strong ones at that. I’ll do my best to keep them out of this article.

Fact: I personally know many people who have been very sick with Covid symptoms and who have tested positive. I have friends who have lost family members.

Fact: In October 2020, I went to a Halloween party (because in Bali, we were still going to gyms and movies, our kids were still maskless in school, and we had Halloween parties) and sat at a table with an ER doctor who told me a story that added to my confusion. He went to work in the ER, came home, turned on the news, and was shown footage of HIS hospital ER… packed. Not a bed was empty. Covid crisis. His mouth dropped. That wasn’t his hospital. That wasn’t the truth.

Fact: One of my best friends is Greek. Last year, her village was lined up for mandatory Covid testing. Her parents waited in line for hours, got tired, and went home without being tested. The next day, they were phoned up with their positive test results.

Fact: In December of 2020, a 4 night mandatory quarantine was imposed in Jakarta. In order to enter Bali, foreigners must be escorted to a government approved hotel and submit a negative Covid test result before being allowed back on the plane. I personally know 4 people who tested positive and retested the same day–on their own accord, of course– negative.

Fact: I recently posted on my SM about the new lockdown in Bali. Quarantine has been raised to 8 days, and according to official Indonesian documentation, the new Delta variant is running rampant in Bali. Over the course of the following few days, I received messages from 8 different people on the ground there, stating otherwise. “Nothing has changed in Bali except the government regulations.”

What ‘facts’ do I deduct from this ‘evidence’? Well, truthfully, in a court of law, I ain’t got shit. However, my curiosity tells me that the infamous They want us scared. Why? Now, this is the multi-billion dollar question. If I were to answer it, I would do so by assumption or opinion, because obviously how TF would I know what their motives are? However, answering questions whose evidence doesn’t warrant any certainty is where we’re running into social and communal issues. We’re going to war with each other instead of admitting that we’re all just making the best decisions we can with the scant evidence given. People are scared. Can we exercise a little compassion?

People are getting sick. I find that indisputable. However, if Covid is as bad as they say it is– and I’m not saying it’s not– why are they exaggerating to make it worse? Where is the good in that? Why are they showing crowded hospitals when there are none? Why are they offering statistics of positive Covid tests when so many are false positives (or from people who never even took a Covid test)? Maybe vaccination is the right way to go? They are saying that the areas with the highest vaccination rates are the areas with the least sick people. Maybe this is true. However, where they fucked up is by lying in the media to motivate me (and getting caught). I might want a vaccination, but now I’m distrustful of it all. I am distrustful of anyone who tries to motivate me with fear. I don’t know anything about lasers or QAnon, mind control or pizza gate or politics. I’m not saying the vaccination is bad or good. I’m literally not suggesting a single thing except an open mind. And I’m not here to tell you what you should or shouldn’t do, but hey… scare tactics are shitty yo. Ask questions, and stop pissing on those of us who are distrustful of the system. We all have reasons to be scared.

Whatever story you’re attached to, you’re collecting evidence to support it, and that ‘evidence’ is out there. There is a fine line between the Truth and What We Are Being Told. My goal here is to encourage you to stay aware, curious, and open-minded. Stop claiming, “Because of science!” with a rigidity that true science would never actually tout. Ask yourself, “Why am I so attached to this narrative?” Does it help you sleep at night? Is your identity wrapped up in it somehow? Why? There’s no judgement or ‘right or wrong’, it’s not ‘bad’ not to have an answer or even to choose ignorance. It’s your choice. Just as I have mine, and that lady whose head you bit off yesterday has hers. These are the real multi-billion dollar questions to me. They are the ones that keep us united or divided.